Ephesians 5, the part of the chapter that I wanted to focus on is the latter part there from verses 22 through 33 where God is giving instructions unto husbands and wives. There are several passages like this in the New Testament. This is probably the most famous one. It starts out by saying in verse 22, "Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church. He is the savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husband in everything.
"Husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that their should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh but noursheth and cherisheth it even as the Lord the church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church."
In verse 33 he gives a synopsis again of what he's saying in this main passage. He says, "Never the less, let everyone in you particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband." According to this passage we can clearly see that the key responsibility of a husband toward his wife is to love his wife. The key responsibility of the wife toward her husband is to reverence her husband. If we had to pick what is the main thing, that's the main thing.
Now, there are many other things that we as husbands need to do besides just loving our wives. There are many other things that our wives need to do besides just reverencing us. When we want to talk about what is the major theme it's wrapped up right there in verse 33 when it says, "Let everyone of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband." What does reverence mean? It's like respect, but it's a stronger word than respect. It's more life fear. It's a very deep respect.
What I want to preach about tonight, and if you would flip over to Proverbs 31. What I want to preach about tonight is just some practical advise for your marriage. I'm going to give some practical things that wives should do, that husbands should do and that both of us in our marriages should be doing in order to have a good marriage. I strongly believe that what works for one person often will work for everybody if it's just straight out of the Bible. A lot of people think it's got to be different for everybody.
I understand that okay, people are different, and they have different situations, but there are certain things in the Bible where God just lays them out as a principle, that's just a universal principle where it just goes for everybody. They'll sit there and go, "I just don't think that this arrangement will work in my marriage where the husband's in charge. I think in my marriage it would be better if the wife is in charge." That just doesn't work that way. Everybody thinks they're the exception and they're different. Honestly, there are a lot of principles that are just universal in the Bible that we could all put into practice and that we could all use.
I'm not one who does a lot of marriage counseling. A lot of pastors do a lot of marriage counseling. I mean, they're doing marriage counseling just every day, every week. I even know pastors who put ads in the yellow pages in the marriage counseling section just to do more marriage counseling. I'm not why they hate themselves that much. Anyway, a lot of pastors do a lot of counseling. Here's the thing. If somebody asks me for advice on their marriage or has a question about marriage, I'll always answer their question. I don't just say, "Hey, I don't do counseling." I'll give them their question, but I don't really do counseling in the traditional sense because of the fact that usually it's not really that hard to figure out what people need to change in their marriage in order to fix it. Usually I have to listen to somebody for about 60 seconds and then I can usually be able to dish out some Biblical advice. Some Biblical advice that will work for everybody.
What I find is that the people that have often come to me and asked me for advice about marriage, I give them advice, and it's not what they wanted to hear. Therefore the couseling session is cut short because I tell them, "Do x, y, and z. Do those things and then come back and talk to me if you still have a problem." The reality is they say, "Well, I can't do that, and that's not going to work. That sounds hard," and everything like that. I always tell people whenever I give people advice, when people come to me with marriage problems, I always tell them this, I say, "You know what? Here's the things that the Bible says you're supposed to be doing. Do you agree that this is what the Bible says?" "Oh, yeah." I say to that person, "If you don't do these things, don't come back and talk to me about it."
I'm not one that says, "Hey, if I give you advice, you have to take it," because if somebody comes to me and gets advice, and they don't think that my advice is right and they don't think my advice is Biblical, then they don't have to take my advice. I'm not God. I'm not your master. If you just come to me for advice. I'll give you advice. You can take it or leave it. Here's the thing. If somebody comes to me for advice and I give them Biblical advice and they don't want to follow it, I don't want that person to come back to me and say, "Hey, I'm still having the same problem. What now?" "The same thing I told you last time."
In reality, our problems can often be solved with some very simple Biblical solutions, but people often don't want to take the steps necessary to fix the problem. They don't often want to hear what the Bible says. Often what they want when they want counseling is they want to tell you a lot of stories. They want to give you all their dirty laundry and just get a lot of things off their chest. Frankly, I don't want to know about all the intricacies and all the negativity within your marriage. Let me say it this way. I don't think it's necessary for me to know what you've been doing wrong in order to tell you how to do it right.
Think about it. Let's say we were talking about cooking. Let's say I was going to teach you how to cook, which would be very ironic indeed. I do know how to make one thing well, and that is a cheesy omelet. I make one virtually every day of my life. Let's say I'm going to teach you how to make an omelet. I would say to you, "Come into the kitchen with me and let me show you how to make an omelet." I wouldn't say, "Okay, sit down and tell me all the problems you've been having with omelet making. Tell me about all the failed omelets in your life. Can you show me exactly how your cracking the eggs when shells end up in it? Can you show me exactly why the yolk is constantly breaking at the wrong time when you're making eggs?"
I don't need you to tell me everything that's wrong in order for me to tell you how to do it right. There are a lot of wrong ways to make an omelet. I don't need to know them all in order to teach you the right way to make an omelet. People somehow think that I have to know or that a pastor or counselor has to know everything that's wrong in their marriage and tell them all the mistakes and all the problems, and then I'm going to sit here and listen to all this crazy stuff, and then now I'm going to tell you how to do it right. I just would rather skip a step and just tell you how to do it right. In fact, instead of having to tell you how to do it right personally and to your face which could be a little bit embarrassing for you if you come to me and have to tell me, "Hey, I'm having problems," it's even better if I can just tell it to the whole church.
These things that I'm going to give to you tonight are just practical marital advice that just works for everybody. Just practical marital advice that's for all of you, it's for everyone. Instead of having to do this on an individual basis, go through a lot your dirty laundry and explain what the Bible says, it's just better to do it as group. That's what the church is supposed to be, just to teach you the word of God.
Listen, if you do have a serious question, you do have a serious problem, don't refrain from coming to me. I don't need to know details. I don't need to go into a big, long thing with you because honestly, it doesn't take long to figure out what the problem is usually when you talk to people. People are not going to church. They're not reading their Bible. They're not even married. "I'm having trouble getting along with my wife. Well, actually she's my live-in girlfriend." Well wait a minute, I'm not going to be able to fix that for you. You need to get married. You need to at least have some semblance of following the Bible or I'm wasting my time even speaking to you.
Let me give you some practical advice today. I'm going to give some advice for husbands, some advice for wives. I just hope that you can use something in the sermon. It's going to give you a lot of tips and things I've learned and things that I've seen in the Bible. Honestly, I believe that these are universal principles. That's why I don't do a lot of marital counseling, just because I don't want to get involve in other people's strife, and I don't want to hear all the details. Honestly, I want to be able to think the best of you. I don't want to know all your darkest secrets or something. This isn't a Catholic church where you go to the confessional booth and just tell all to the pastor.
Again, if you have a problem and you need my help, I don't want you to be afraid to come talk to me. I'm not going to judge you. I'm not going to come down on you. At the same time, it's better if you can learn these principles in a setting like this from the pulpit and be able to use these things in your marriage.
First of all I want to talk for the husbands, some advice for the husband. Look at Proverbs 31. The Bible says in verse 28, "Her children will rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all." The first thing I want to say about how to love your wife, because that's the main thing that the husband is supposed to do, to love your wife, first of all you should love your wife more than you love anyone else. You should look to your wife as being the greatest woman in the world, and you don't have anyone else that you love more or that is more important to you than she is. That's why it says there, "Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all."
If you read the Book of Song of Solomon, a great book on marriage, you'll see the husband is constantly praising his wife's beauty. She's the fairest. She's the most beautiful. She's the most gorgeous. She's wonderful. That's how we ought to feel about our husband or wife as married people. We should love our wife more than we love anyone else. Number two, we should praise our wives' beauty not the beauty of other women. Don't say to your wife, "Oh, isn't she so beautiful. Isn't this other woman so beautiful?"
By the way, don't put up some calendar or some picture or poster of some woman other than your wife. That's not loving your wife. If you're going to put up some other example of some beautiful babe that you have up, "Well, that's just in the garage. That's just work where I work on my car. That's just a guy thing." No, it's a sinful thing. If you love your wife and you really want to make her feel special and make her feel like she's the only woman in your life and that you care for her above all others, you wouldn't put up those type of pictures.
Number three, never look at pornography. This is a big one in the day that we live. It's one that I don't often talk about just because I don't like to talk about unwholesome subjects, but it needs to be dealt with somewhat. Today men are looking at pornography on a scale that's unbelievable. It's pretty much the number one thing that the internet is used for. If you look at the statistics on it, there's more traffic today going to pornographic websites than any other type of website on the internet. It's the main function of the internet.
Go to Proverbs chapter six. Let me show you some scriptures on this. Proverbs chapter six. While you're turning there, I'll read to you from Matthew 5:28. "But I say unto you that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." This is serious sin when you're looking on a woman to lust after her, and that's what you're doing when you pull up pornographic images other than your wife. It says when you look upon a woman to lust after her you have committed adultery with her already in your heart. This is a major sin.
People try to justify this and say, "Well, you know ..." I heard this stupid saying. Just because I've already order doesn't mean I can't still look at the menu. Every restaurant I've ever been to in my life, as soon as I order they say, "Give me that menu," and they take the menu away from you. That's a dumb illustration. Either way that might sound cute to you, but we as husbands we need to have respect for our wife's feelings and understand that she's not going to feel loved if we're sharing our affections with someone else. When we're lusting after some other woman's beauty in our heart and committing adultery in our heart. It's a spiritual mental type of unfaithfulness, when you're going to lust in your heart after another woman.
Speaker 2: Look at Proverbs 6, verse 32. It says, "But who so committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding. He that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonor shall he get, and his reproach shall not be wiped away for jealousy is the rage of a man. Therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance. This scripture is talking about a man becoming jealous because his wife has committed adultery. Let me say this. The flip side is also true. A wife is going to be jealous of a husband who goes out and commits adultery also. That jealousy will produce rage and anger. We see that in the life of King David where King David and his wife Michal became estranged from one another because she was jealous of other women in David's life, because David did not keep his affections only on her but shared his affections with others and had multiple wives. Every story where multiple wives are involved, there's jealousy involved, there's rage involved, there's enmity involved because this jealousy thing goes two ways.
It's not the person who's jealous who's the problem, it's the person that's being unfaithful that's the problem. The jealous husband. Yes, I'm a jealous husband because my wife is mine alone. Every wife should be jealous of their husband, and every husband should be jealous of their wife because we don't believe in our sharing our spouses. Don't get angry at someone for being jealous. Get angry at the one who is sharing their affection with someone outside of marriage and not keeping themselves holy unto their spouse. That's who we ought to get upset about.
I'm constantly hearing from people that are addicted to pornography that are struggling with the sin of looking at pornography. I'll read to you from Romans 13:14. You don't have to turn there. It says, "But point ye on the Lord Jesus Christ and make not provision for the flesh to fulfill the lusts there of." He said, don't make provision for the flesh to fulfill the lusts there. Let me say this. If you are one who is struggling with internet pornography, we don't need a marriage counseling session to deal with this. You don't need to come to my office necessarily to go over this with me because I'm going to give you the advice preemptively right now. You need to get rid of your internet connection. Now look, I'm not saying that everyone needs to get rid of their internet connection, but if this is something that you're tempted by and that you're struggling with, then you just need to get rid of your internet connection. It's that simple. Think about it.
For example, I don't drink alcohol. I've never drunk alcohol. In my life I've never drunk a beer. I've never been drunk. I don't really know what that's like. I grew up in a Christian home, and that's one thing I never experimented with. Let me say this. If you were to put a bottle of booze in my kitchen cabinet, that bottle of booze would be there untouched for the next hundred years. I'm not going to touch that thing because it's just not a temptation for me. It's something that I've never done. It's something that I've never been into. I've no desire to start drinking. I've never drunk in the past. I'm not going to drink in the future. That bottle of booze would just sit in that cupboard, and it would collect dust, and it really wouldn't bother me at all.
Let me tell you something. Someone who's been an alcoholic, someone who's struggled with that, and you put that bottle of booze in their kitchen cabinet, that's a big temptation for them. That's something that's going to cause them to fall. Again, I wouldn't store alcohol in my house because I'm alcohol. I'm just trying to illustrate to you that certain people have certain proclivities toward certain things because once you open that door of a particular sin, that temptation is always going to be there. Think about it. If you've never taken heroin, you're not going to sit around and just say, "Man, I wish I had some heroin right now." You can't crave something that you've never had.
By the way, that's why it's better just to never even start smoking. Then you're not going to crave cigarettes. You never even started. You never start drinking, and then you're not going to crave that feeling of being drunk. You don't even know what it is. What I'm saying is that if you're one who struggles in that area or one who has in the past struggled in that area, and that's a temptation for you, and you say, "Man, I just keep going back and looking at it," get rid of the temptation. The Bible says lead us not into temptation. You shouldn't even just have it right there.
Think about it. If you are one who has this tendency to look at pornography, and you're carrying a smart phone, you're basically carrying around with you in your pocket the ability to look at pornography at any time in your pocket. Then you say, "I just don't know why I can't kick this habit." That would be like if you were saying, "I really want to kick the habit of gluttony and overeating, and you just live in a house that's filled with Twinkies and Hohos. I mean, all over the counters you have Twinkies. You have Hohos. You've got soda in the fridge. You've got all kinds of sweets and treats, and you're saying, "I just don't understand it. I just keep giving into temptation."
Obviously the smart thing to do would be to get it out of your house and just have nutritious foods in your house as an alternative. I'm telling you that if you are one who is struggling with internet pornography, you need to get rid of your internet connectino because obviously you can live without the internet. The internet does have many legitimate uses. Wait a minute. We could all live without it. People didn't even have ... When I was a kid, and I'm a young man, people didn't even have computers when I was a kid. Almost had a computer let alone the internet.
I think God, listen to me, I thank God that when I was a kid this stuff wasn't available because honestly, if this stuff would have been available when I was a teenager I can see that I myself could have fallen into this. When you're young, when you're immature, when you're carnal, when you're sinful, when you're immature. I could see myself having gone on the internet and looked at something I shouldn't have looked at. Thank God it wasn't available back then. By the time it became available, by the time the internet came out and was high speed, and you could actually look at images or videos or anything like that, I was already mature enough in the Lord to not seek after those things.
Little kids and teenagers, they're not going to have that discernment. They're not going to have that maturity. They're not going to have that wisdom. Don't give them unfettered access to the internet because the door is wide open for them to, just out of curiosity or just out of their wickedness, to go into things that they shouldn't go into.
The best illustration I can think of about this is my microwave. The microwave is really convenient. We came to a point where we decided we don't want to eat stuff out of the microwave. It's probably not the healthiest way to make your food. We decided, let's use the microwave less. In fact, let's just stop using the microwave, but we just kept using it every day because it's just so convenient. My wife and I decided we're not going to use the microwave anymore, but we just kept using the microwave. Why? Because it's just so convenient. It's just so easy to just, "Oh, just this once to heat something up real quick. I'll just heat that up. I'll just heat everything up." You're heating stuff up every single day. Finally I realized the only way to stop using the microwave was to get rid of the microwave because if it's there you're going to use it. I ripped out my microwave and threw it in the garbage can and put in a hood fan instead. Guess what, I've never used the microwave since.
I don't find myself sneaking food down to the gas station and using the gas station's microwave. It's just the fact that it's right there and so easy. It's just so convenient to fall back into that. I'm not saying that using the microwave is a sin. I'm just saying that I didn't want to use the microwave. I was trying to eat healthier and use the oven and the stove to cook things instead of the microwave. When you have a problem with alcohol, alcohol needs to be gone from your house. If you have a problem with smoking, you need to get all cigarettes away from you. If you have a problem with drugs, you need to have all drugs taken away from you. You need to get rid of the internet access if it's leading you into sin.
Whatever it is that's leading you into sin, whether it's your microwave or whether it's your internet. My point being don't make provision for the flesh to fulfill the lusts there of. That's an easy fix, folks. You know, you can downgrade this thing to just being a phone if you can't handle that internet connection. If you're using it for a legitimate purpose and you're not using it to get into sin, then that's up to you to be able to parent yourself and take care of yourself. Don't just give a kid unfettered access to this because they're not going to refrain from looking at the wrong things. They don't have the maturity or the wisdom or the discernment in most cases.
These are just tips for husbands. I've got to hurry because I've got to get to the wives. Number four, as a husband you need to make all the money and pay all the bills. Why? Because the one who pays the bills is the one who makes the rules. The Bible says, "But if they provide not for his own, especially for those of his own house, he has denied the faith and is worse than an infidel."
Number five, you need to be manly. 1 Corinthians 6:9 in a long list of sins, it says, "The unrighteous shall not inherit the Kingdom of God. Be not deceived. Neither fornicators nor idolaters nor adulterers nor effeminate nor abusers of themselves with mankind." The modern Bible versions change this and take this out, but according to the King James Bible being effeminate is a sin. What does it mean to be effeminate? It's a man who acts womanly in his behavior. You say, "Why is that bad for my marriage?" Because your wife, her primary responsibility to you is what? To reverence you. It's going to be hard for her to reverence you when you're a little twinkie and a little sissy and when you're being a girly-man. She's going to have a hard time respecting you.
What are we supposed to do for our wives? Love our wives? How do we love our wife? That means we love her more than anyone else. We don't share our affections amongst other women. We're not looking at pornography. We're not praising other women's beauty and putting up posters and things like that. What's her responsibility toward us? To reverence us? If you want reverence and you want respect, strive to be respectable. If you want to be respected, you need to be respectable.
Here's one thing that will be you respect: when you pay the bills, when you make the money as the Bible teaches that the man should provide. When you're manly and someone that your wife can look to as someone that's manly, not a queer little sissy.
Number six, and for this I'll read 1 Corinthians 13:11. When I was a child I spake as a child. I understood as a child. I thought as a child, but when I became a man I put away childish things." You need to be mature and not be juvenile and do things like play video games all the time. You want your wife to reverence you. It's hard to reverence a video game addict. The word reverence and video game addict just don't go together. "I want my wife to fear me and reverence me and respect me," and you spend hours and hours playing video games or being juvenile in other ways. You say, "What are some other examples of being juvenile?" Just trying to be so trendy all the time. Acting like a child. Thinking that you're a teenager or something. Grow up. Be manly. Be an adult. Be mature, and then it will be easier for your wife to respect you when you're respectable.
You see people today, they get so into professional sports, and they get juvenile about it sometimes. They're like the little kid. If you like sports, I'm not against you like sports, but you need to keep that mature and adult and in moderation. Not just become one that's just a little kid or something, just in front of the TV for ours with all your junk food. You're sedentary, and you're out of shape, and you're just so into the game like a little kid. Little kids like to idolize sports stars. Men grow up, and they do their own exploits, and they don't get that excited about a game. It's a game. It's not life. "Yeah, we beat them!" You didn't do anything. You're not on that team. "We won." You're not on the team. You couldn't even run from one end of that football field to the other without being out of breath let alone play the game.
I'm just saying you've got to be mature, folks. No woman wants to be married to a video game addict. No woman wants to be married to someone who acts like a child and is in juvenile and is into video games and idolizes sports heroes in an immature way. Number seven, go to Proverbs 31 once again. I don't know if you're still there. In Proverbs 31, I want to show you some things that you can do to help your marriage as a husband is to express appreciation unto your wife. Express your feelings toward your wife of love and affection. Tell her that you love her, but also express your appreciation for her and what she does.
The Bible says in Proverbs 31:28, " Her children will rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also, and he praises her." Do you see that? "Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised." Watch this. "Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her own works praise her in the gates." She should be recognized and praised and rewarded for the good things that she does and shown appreciation by her husband.
Eighthly, let me say this to husbands, never complain about your wife to someone outside of your marriage. This is something that husbands and wives are both often guilty of. You hear it all the time. A husband criticizing his wife to other people. It's a shame. Wives criticizing their husbands to other people. It's hurting your marriage. These are some things that you can do, husbands, to help your marriage. Love your wife. Love her more than anyone else. Express that love to her. Don't put up pictures and things of other women. Don't get into pornography. Also you need to make the money and pay the bills. You need to be manly. You need to be mature. Don't be juvenile. You need to express your appreciation to your wife. Don't complain about your wife to someone outside of the marriage.
On to the wives, let me just flip the coins, of course, that the wife should not complain about her husband to other people. Number one. Don't criticize your husband to other people. I've heard it in this church. I've heard it everywhere I go. You hear people just criticizing their spouse to other people. When that gets back to them, that's going to hurt your marriage. You know what it does? It's breaking the closeness and the trust of your marriage. Here you're supposed to be on the same team, and what you're doing when you criticize your spouse to other people, your siding with other people against your spouse. You're putting distance between you and your spouse, and you're siding with someone else to gang up and criticize your spouse.
That's why you should never hang around with people that are critical of your spouse or critical of their own spouse or of all men in general. There are women out there that are just these man hating type women. They've been divorced three times. Let me tell you something, "All men are this." They're just these man haters. Or even just women who despise their own husband. The Bible says evil communication corrupts good manners. A companion of fools shall be destroyed. When you walk with people that are like that, you're going to learn their ways when they are constantly criticizing their husband or just negative about men in general. There are women that are like that.
Not only that, especially if they're not critical of your husband. They might have something against your husband in particular. Maybe your family. You have family members who are just constantly ragging on your husband to you. You need to just stop hanging around with those people for a while, and tell them, "Hey, we can have a relationship again when you stop criticizing my husband to me." Stand up for your husband. Stand up for your wife. This part is unto the women. Stand up with your husband and side with him against other people. Don't side with his enemies against him. It's going to destroy your marriage.
Here's some other things under that same type of a point. Don't ever tell a story about your husband that embarrasses your husband. That's another irreverent thing that you could do to your husband. Telling a story about hour husband where it's embarrassing unto him or reflects poorly on him. What are you accomplishing with that? All your doing is enraging your husband. All you're doing is tearing him down in your own sight and in the sight of others.
Also, don't disclose your finances to other people as a woman. Don't go around talking about your financial problems as a wife, because you know what that does? That reflects poorly on your husband, and then that's going to make him ashamed, and that's going to make him angry. That's embarrassing unto him. Don't go around just talking about the financial problems all the time because it reflects poorly on your husband. Are you listening? Being critical of your husband. Either love him and stand up for him and not do that.
Another thing that you should not do if you want to have a good marriage, don't complement other men to your husband. Don't go to your husband and start telling him how great other men are. Isn't he so handsome? Doesn't he make so much money? Isn't he such a great guy? Look at how he treats ... What a wonderful guy. Isn't he so cool? That's just a subtle way of not being supportive of your husband. You should praise your husband and compliment him. Not compliment other men to him.
Again, we talk about men with their posters and their whatever they get into on the internet, but you know what? It's a two-way street with that too when women are idolizing these stupid faggoty actors. Right? Saying, "Oh, Brad Pitt, oh! Johnny Depp, oh! Tom Cruise, Oh! Justin Beiber, oh!" I just had to throw that in. "Keanu Reeves, oh. Leonardo DiCaprio, oh!" Shut up. These guys are a bunch of sodomite faggots. You're idolizing him for being so manly. He's an actor. He's acting manly because he's an actor. In real life he's a queer, he's a sodomite. He doesn't even like women. Seriously, listen.
I've got a good friend who works in Hollywood. He said it's all sodomites. Did you need him to tell you that? It's true though. It's filled with sodomites. That's who dominates Hollywood. That's who runs it. That's who the actors are. It's a bunch of filth. It's just as wicked when women try to jump on this bandwagon and start lifting up and exalting their male heart throbs and so forth. That's hurtful to your husband because jealousy is the rage of a man, the Bible says. You want to enrage your husband, start telling him about Johnny Depp with his faggoty eye liner.
Every time I see a picture of that guy, he's got eye liner on. What's his deal? He's a pirate. I'm sure pirates went around putting on makeup. This is the stupidity of Hollywood. I'm sure pirates really had their Revlon and their Maybelline and their Max Factor on that pirate ship, and they applied makeup. No, he's applying makeup because that's the queerness and weirdness of Hollywood for you. Don't sit there and insult your husband and demean your husband by praising other men to him. Praise him to him. Tell him how great he is. Tell him what a cool guy he is. Tell him what a stud he is. Don't sit there and praise other men whoever they are to your husband and not praise him to him. That's insulting, especially when you're praising the queers of Hollywood.
What else? That's number one, don't be critical of your husband, especially to other people. Number two, treat your husband respectfully. Obviously the Bible says, "See that the references her husband." What are some ways that you could do that? First of all, you should not scold or rebuke your husband. Go to 1 Timothy 5:1. A lot of ladies, they mistakenly get the idea that it's their job to correct and rebuke and straighten out their husband all the time. "He's not doing what he's supposed to do. He's not obeying the Lord." Here's the thing. God did not give women that responsibility to make sure that their husband lives right. He did give husbands the responsibility to make sure that their wife lives right. That's a double standard. Yes it is. You're finally getting it.
Listen, it's not the wife's job to be the parent or an authority figure over the husband and scold him and rebuke him and correct him and make sure that he does what he's supposed to do because it's not your responsibility. The Bible does teach that it is the man's responsibility, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord," and to wash and cleanse his wife spiritually and help her to grow and to be able to present her and so forth. Let me say this, it's not the wife's responsibility to make sure that her husband lives for the Lord. It's only a one-way street there. It's the husband's responsibility to make sure the wife is doing what she's supposed to be doing. It's not the wife's responsibility to make sure that the husband is doing right. Here's the thing. This will destroy your marriage when you have this dynamic of a wife that's trying to rule over her husband, lord over him, scolding him, correcting him, rebuking him. You're not allowing him to be the leader as the Bible teaches he should be.
A scripture I would point to is 1 Timothy 5:1 where it says rebuke not an elder but entreat him as a father and the younger men as brother. Now, I realize this isn't about husbands. This is about the pastor. When it says rebuke not an elder, it's talking about an elder meaning a bishop or a pastor. Here's the thing, if you're not supposed to rebuke the pastor but entreat him as a father, what that means is that if the pastor says something that you think is wrong or does something that you think is wrong, you're to go to him and kindly entreat him and explain to him his error of his ways. It's not saying, "Hey, you can never tell the pastor he's wrong." You can tell the pastor's he's wrong, but you entreat him as a father. You come to him respectfully and let him know. You don't rebuke him. What's rebuke? Rebuke is scolding. It's all about the respect that you show. What's the different between entreaty and rebuke? The level of respect.
Here's the thing. The reason we can apply this same principle unto husbands and wives is because we know that the wife is told to reverence her husband. In fact, the wife should show even more respect to her own husband than unto the pastor. It's even a greater respect that's show. I don't even call myself Reverend. "Hey, Reverend." I don't even go by that name. I think that word is overkill for a pastor. That's my opinion. I think reverend is a little over the top for a pastor, but it's not over the top for a husband. It's not over the top for the Lord. Those are people that deserve those titles.
Let me say this. You should not rebuke or scold your husband. Bringing something to his attention kindly, okay. Just don't feel the need that it's your responsibility to fix every problem in his life. He's a grown man. If you don't like the man he is, why did you marry him? "Well, I married him with the hopes I'd fix him later." That was a bad idea because honestly, it's not your job as a wife to fix him. You need to show him the respect of not scolding and rebuking him and coming down on him. Just to give you some examples, I've just seen wives completely freak out, and they're going to threaten to leave their husband, they're going to call the police because their husband smokes pot.
Listen. Smoking pot is a wicked sin. I'm not going to defend it for one second. I'm against it. It's wrong. It's sin. I put it in the same category with drunkenness. The Bible commands us to be sober. It is sinful. It is rough. Let me tell you something. It's not the wife's job to just say, "Hey, if you don't stop drinking, I'm leaving." "If you won't stop smoking pot, I'm leaving." "If you don't quit doing ..." You know what? That is out of line. That's not what the Bible ever teaches. You'll never find in the Bible where the Bible says, "Hey, if your husband is doing wrong, you can fix it. You can threaten to leave." The Bible says, "Let not the wife depart from her husband." It says that the husband and wife are in it for better, for worse and not to cut asunder what God has joined together. This attitude of, "Well, but there are just certain things where I draw the line and blah-blah-blah." You just need to get over it.
I know that that preaching might make some people uncomfortable, but I'm going to say it right now that when you get married, it's til death do us part, and it's a relationship where the husband is in authority. That's what Biblical marriage is. If you marry a guy who's a loser, who sits around playing video games and smoking pot, you got to think about that before you get married. If you're married to a guy like that, let's say you're, "Pastor that's me right now, Pastor Anderson. I'm married to a pot smoking, video game addict."
Then you know what your job is? To be the best wife that you can be, to love your husband, to reverence your husband, to obey your husband, and to serve the Lord and do the best you can in that situation. I'm sorry that your life turned out that way, but honestly when you get married that's the commitment that you're making. This attitude of scolding and yelling at your husband, screaming at your husband, because of whatever the sin, it's not going to help your marriage. It's not going to fix anything. It's not biblical.
Number three, you want to have a happy marriage wives? You liked it when I was on the husbands. Now you're like, "Rrrr." Anyway, don't complain. Don't be a complainer. The Bible says when the people complain it displeased the Lord. The Bible talks about clamor, being clamorous, being a complainer. It's a sin.
Number four, go to Romans chapter 12. I know I'm just throwing a lot of points at you. You know what? If people would do this stuff, they would get along with their spouse. Do you want to get along with your spouse? Follow these principles, and you'll get along with your spouse. You want to get along with your husband, and you're having a hard time getting along with your husband? Stop scolding him. Be respectful to him. Stop trying to correct him and straighten him out and fix him all the time and start obeying him. That's what the Bible says, but that's not what people want to hear often. That's what the Bible says.
You want to get along with your husband, you've got to stop criticizing him to other people. You've got to stop being critical of him and praising other men unto him. You need to start loving him for who he is. You need to stop complaining. Number four, Romans 12:15 says, "Rejoice with them that do rejoice and weep with them that weep." Number four is that you need to have empathy for your husband, meaning that when you're happy you should be happy with him. When he's down you should mourn with him. That's called empathy, when you reflect the feelings of other people yourself. When your husband is rejoicing, you should be rejoicing with him. If he's happy, that should make you happy. If he's sad or down, that should make you down also. You know what? This can be obviously that can go both ways too, between husband and wife.
Why is this important? Because some people have a marriage where they're not in tune with each other. Basically, when one person is down, they're happy. The other one gets happy that you're down. Then when you're happy, I'm in a bad mood. Why? Because this is what it is. They have this us against them variance with their spouse where basically it's like a battle. I mean, people are like this with their spouse sometimes, where it's a battle. Instead of being a friendship or their on the same team, their both doing the same. Think about this. If we're both on the same team and we're both united, us against the world kind of a mentality, then when I'm happy you're going to be happy too. If the people we love are happy, that should make us happy, right? If the people we love are sad, wouldn't that make us sad too? You'll see people that have a bad relationship, this isn't how they are. One will get happy when the other is down or vice versa.
How'd you apply this is just when you see your spouse happy, rejoice with him. Share in their joy. When you see them down, don't just be all jovial and bubbly. The Bible says not to sing songs unto those that are of a heavy heart. It can really irritate people when they're in a bad mood, and you're just really happy and jovial. It's almost like a little salt in the wound. Instead you should have some empathy and try to mirror your spouse's mood a little bit and try to understand where they're coming from and try to feel what they feel. I just got to quickly hurry through some of these.
If you would, go to Proverbs chapter one. Proverbs chapter one. Obviously things that wives should be doing. I'm going to skip some of this for the sake of time. Obviously, cook the food that your husband likes to eat. You want to get along with your husband, make food that he likes. If it's food that he doesn't like, don't make it. Obviously, you need to feed him nutritious food. I'm not saying to feed him all kinds of junk and say, "He just wants junk." Try to slowly ease him into nutritious food if he is one that is prone to junk food. Honestly, make him the food that he likes. That's going to make him happy.
Be feminine. We talked about being manly, being masculine. You need to be feminine. Your husband doesn't want you to be going around the house in your carpenter pants and your short hair and your all gruff, and you're walking like a cowboy and everything. Be feminine. Be appealing unto your husband by being feminine, by being womanly in your demeanor and in your appearance if you want to get along with your husband. What's the sermon about? It's about getting along. It's about having a good marriage. It's about being happy in your marriage and not having a lot of marital problems.
A lot of these things people will resist these things that I'm listing. I'm just throwing ideas at you. A lot of people will resist these things. "Why should I?" Because you want to have a happy marriage. Because you want to obey the Bible. Because you want to do what's right. "Why do I have to always make the food that he wants? Why do I have to do all this stuff?" Because you love your husband and because you want to get along.
What are some things that both people should be doing? Return to Proverbs 1. Proverbs 1:24 says this, "Because I called and ye refused. I stretched out my hand and no man regarded." What we get in this verse here is the image of reaching out to somebody and being rejected. It reminds me of that video, there's a really good video on youtube where Obama, I think he's in Russia. He walks up to these foreign ministers and ambassadors. He holds his hand out to one, and they just don't shake his hand. Then he goes to the next, and they don't shake it. He goes to the next. Finally he just you know. Has anybody seen that video? Does anybody know what I'm talking about? Go home and watch it. If you're one that doesn't have to demolish their internet because of your pornography addiction. No, I'm just kidding.
Anyway, honestly Obama is just getting completely disrespected by these people. He holds out his hand, and it's so embarrassing. Can you think of anything more embarrassing? You're the president of the United States. You hold out your hand, and ... You can tell he's embarrassed. He doesn't know what to do. Get that image in your mind and think about this. You don't want to treat your spouse that way. In our lives on a daily basis ... This point is number one, don't rebuff your spouse when they reach out to you. Obviously I'm not talking about a handshake where your wife goes to shake your hand, and you're like ... Hopefully your relationship is not that bad.
Honestly, throughout our lives there are often times where we as husbands or wives will reach out to the other person in some way, make some gesture. Do you know what I'm saying? Make some gesture of maybe wanting to have a conversation or wanting to have fun together, wanting to go somewhere together. Wanting to do something and just reaching out to them, proverbial speaking, and wanting to have a close relationship with them. Maybe you just want to give them a hug or just want to talk to them or bring up something to talk about. When your wife comes to you and reaches out to you like that, and you just do a Russian emissary did to Obama, that's going to hurt your wife's feelings. You know what's going to happen? They're going to be less likely to reach out to you in the future.
When you call to someone and they refuse, when you stretch out your hand and no man regards it, you're going to be a little shy about reaching out your hand. A lot of marriages the husband and wife get very distant from one another and really cold with each other and really estranged from one another because when one person reached out, the other person refused. Then the distance just builds, and the coldness just builds. Then you're going to be less likely to reach out that hand the next time.
Not only that, that's number one, but number two, especially when your spouse wants to, as the Bible says, lie with you. When your spouse wants to go to the bedroom with you and you turn down your spouse, you're doing damage to your marriage. By the way, that is a sin according to 1 Corinthians chapter 7. Go to 1 Corinthians 7 quickly. I don't want to spend a lot of time on this, but I just want to briefly touch this point. Honestly, the stuff that I'm saying right now, this stuff is not being practiced in most marriages, and that's where the problems are coming from. That's where a lot of the problems are coming from.
You want to know why 50, 75% of marriages are ending in divorce? It's because of men looking at pornography. It's because they don't love their wife more than any other woman. It's because they don't show her love and affection. It's because they don't live their life in a respectable, reverence-worthy way. It's because wives are not obeying their husbands. They're not respecting him. They're critical of him. They're down on him. They're scolding him. They're not empathizing with them. You want to know why spouses are having a bad marriage? Part of it is because of a lack of a bedroom life, of a lack of intimacy in the bedroom between married people. The Bible talks a lot about this. I'm not going to go into a lot of scriptures on it tonight.
The Bible of course says in verse 2 of 1 Corinthians 7, "Nevertheless, to avoid fornication let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence, and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband. And likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud he not one the other except it be with consent for a time that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer and come together again. Let Satan tempt you not for your incontinency."
What the Bible is teaching here is that if your wife wants that relationship with you and you turn her down, you're committing sin because you're defrauding her. Does fraud sound like something sinful? Fraud, that's a pretty strong word. He says you're defrauding. If the Bible says defraud her not, and your defrauding her, then it's a sin because you're disobeying the Word. Then the other way around too. If the woman rebuffs her husband, her husband wants to have that physical relationship with her, and she turns him down, that is also sin. Not only is it sin because it's a violation of 1 Corinthians 7, not only is it a sin, but it's also stupid. Here's why it's stupid, who here is a man that says, "I want my wife to commit adultery?" Who here is a woman that would say, "I want my husband to commit adultery?" Here's the thing. By denying your spouse that relationship, you're being stupid because you're opening up temptation for your spouse to commit adultery.
Again, I'm not excusing anyone who commits adultery, and I would never say that adultery was justified because of the fact that it was being denied at home, but let me tell you something. Stone the adulterer with stones is my opinion on that. Adultery is a major sin, but listen, if you're just a smart man or just a smart woman, and you realize that your spouse has a need in that area and you're not filling it, what are you opening up the possibility of if that need is being filled somewhere else? You're being stupid.
Number one it's sin. Number two it's stupid. Number three it's hurtful. Again, this is the whole thing of your spouse is reaching out to you, trying to have a good relationship with him, and you shoot him down. Then they're going to be less likely to reach out to you the next time. It's going to build distance and coldness and anger. You say, "Well, I don't feel like it." Well, sometimes I don't feel like going to church. Sometimes I don't feel like reading my Bible. Sometimes I don't feel like eating my vegetables. Sometimes I don't feel praying. Sometimes I don't feel like doing a lot of things like going to work and paying the bills. You know what? You do things in life because they're right to do. You do the right thing because it's right not necessarily because you feel like it. You do what is right. Sometimes you do things for other people, not necessarily for yourself. You do things for other people because it's the right thing to do.
Number three. Go to 1 Peter chapter 3. This is a good one. 1 Peter chapter 3 is that we should be courteous to one another. What does it mean to be courteous to one another? That means to be polite and to talk to each other with kind words. Isn't that what you think of when you hear courteous? Be courteous. Using kind words, being polite to each other, talking nicely to each other. You might think of this as a marriage verse, but this actually is a marriage verse if you look at the context. Look at 1 Peter 3:8. It says, "Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another. Love as brethren. Be pitiful. Be courteous." If you get the context of this, versus 5 through 7 are all about marriage. Do you see that? Verses 5 through 7 are about marriage. In fact, the whole chapter from 1 through 7 is all about marriage.
Then he wraps it by saying, "Finally, be courteous," so this is applicable unto marriage. Verse 5 says, "After this manner in the old time, the holy women also trusted in God, adorned themselves being in subjection unto their own husbands, even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters you are as long as you do well and are not afraid with any amazement. Likewise you husbands. Dwell with them according to knowledge." Watch this, this goes with being courteous too. "Giving honor unto the wife." Do you see that? "Giving honor unto the wife as unto the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers be not hindered."
Then we have the verse about being courteous in verse 8. Another thing that you could do to have a better marriage is to treat your spouse with courtesy. Be careful of the words that you use. In fact, don't use harsh words, but be polite. Be courteous. Be gentle with your spouse and do not speak to them in a very impolite, rude, discourteous way. By the way, this isn't in my notes, but in the scripture it says that Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord. That will improve your marriage. Call your husband Lord or Sir.
What? Is that what the Bible says? "Oh man, that's crazy." No, you're crazy if you think that the way our culture deals with marriage is the right way. If you the American culture promotes a good marriage, you're crazy. I think the Bible is right. I think you're wrong. I think it was a good idea when Sarah called Abraham Lord. I think it's right for wives to call there husbands Sir or Lord. You say, "Oh, I can't even imagine that." Well, you know what? Welcome the world of biblical marriage. "I can't even imagine that." Okay, how much TV have you been watching? Where are you getting your ideas about what's right and wrong. Not from this book apparently because the Bible is pretty clear on this.
Another thing on this same subject of being courteous is we need to be slow to anger. Part of being slow to anger, because the Bible says let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath, slow to anger. Another part of being slow to anger is not being really touchy. What I mean by that is you just wear your feelings on your sleeve where everything that is said unto you, and again this stuff goes for both husband and wife. Every little thing your spouse says, like, "What's that supposed to mean? What do you mean by that?" Your spouse says something that maybe is a little ambiguous. Give him the benefit of the doubt or give her the benefit of the doubt. Don't just jump all over your spouse and be on a hair trigger. I mean, think about it. Just on a hair trigger. Just waiting for her to say the wrong thing, and "I'm just going to explode." Just on a hair trigger to blow up. Just get angry. Just touchy. Every little thing is "What's that supposed to mean?"
Another thing about this too is people who put a negative filter on everything that their spouse says. They put a negative slant on it. Let me give you an example. The verse I thought of with this is where the Bible says, "Unto the pure, all things are pure, but unto to them that are defiled and unbelieving is nothing pure. Even their mind and conscious is defiled." As long as we judge people by our own heart, no matter what they say we're going to take it the wrong way. Let me give you an example of this, of just putting a negative filter on everything. There are people who just anything you say to them, they interpret it in a negative way. For example, let's say I said to my wife, "Wow, this meal is amazing. This spaghetti is way better than usual." Oh, so what you're saying is that all the other times it tastes like garbage. Or, "Wow honey, you are so gorgeous today." Normally I'm not? Why just today? You're saying yesterday I looked awful. It sounds silly, but some people are like this.
It would be like if you told your husband, "Wow, you have really been bringing home some great pay checks lately, honey." It's like, "What do you mean lately? I've been supporting you." Look, in all of those examples isn't it a positive statement that's being made? "Hey, this is the best spaghetti you've ever made." In the past there was something wrong with it? "Hey, you look great today," or "Hey, you're really bringing home the bacon these days." What happens is there are two ways that you can interpret that. If you love your spouse and you want to get along and have a good marriage, you know what you're going to do? You're going to look at things through a positive filter. You're going to give the benefit of the doubt. You're going to latch onto the positive part of that statement and say, "Thank you," and not just fixate upon the most negative aspect of that statement.
Man, there's so much more in my notes. I have way too much for one sermon here. Go if you would to Luke chapter 6. I got to hurry up and finish. It's amazing how people who love each other, they interpret everything that their spouse says and does in a positive light. They put a positive spin on it. People that are disgruntled with their spouse, they put a negative spin on everything that their spouse says or does. This is something that you need to work on, just having a positive attitude toward your spouse.
Part of this too, and I'm just trying to blow through some of these last points, is you should never hold a grudge from one day to the next in your marriage. The Bible says, "Be ye angry and sin not. Let not the sun go down on your wrath." That means at the end of the day everything's older, and the next day it's a fresh start. Every day has to be a fresh start. When marriages go downhill, they don't just go downhill in one day. People don't just have a happy marriage and then they wake up one day, have horrible fighting, lawyer in the afternoon, sign the papers in the evening. It's just like, "Wow, we just got divorced in 24 hours. Went from being happily married to divorced." No, what it is is it's a buildup of bitterness.
The Bible talks a lot about bitterness where you don't forgive, and you have the same grievance that you're angry about, and you're letting the sun go down on your wrath. That's where marriages are destroyed. We need to make sure that we're not quick to anger and that when anger comes we don't hold a grudge from day to day but that we let things go. Then when our spouse sins against us, we can still have a fresh start tomorrow and not just have a negative slant on everything for the rest of our lives because of this fight that we had. Be positive and start over a fresh start the next day.
Number six, don't make negative comparisons about your spouse in your mind. In other words, don't compare them negatively to other people, like that husband is better than my husband in this way. Or he's better looking than my husband. Or he's a better provider than my husband. Or she's better looking than my wife. Never let negative comparisons enter your mind about your spouse.
Number seven, don't let your appearance and your hygiene go to pot if you want to have a good marriage. If you want to have a happy marriage, don't be one that just lets yourself become a slob, that doesn't take care of the way that you look. You don't take care of your body. You don't take care of your hygiene. You're just making yourself as unappealing as possible to your spouse. You know what? That's bad for your marriage.
Lastly this in Luke chapter 6. It says in Luke chapter 6 verse 32, "For if you love them which love you, what thank have you for sinners also love those that love them. If you do good them which do good to you, what thank have ye, for sinners also do even the same. If you lend to them to whom them of whom you hope to receive, what thank have ye, for sinners also lend to sinners to receive as much again. But love your enemies and do good and lend, hoping to nothing again, and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the highest for He is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil." What we see here is a couple things. Number one, we should not wait for our spouse to be the person that they're supposed to be before we start being the person that we're supposed to be.
He says don't just love those who love you. Don't have this attitude that says, "Well, I'm going to start loving my wife when she starts reverencing me. When she shows me some love, then I'll show her love." Or as a wife say, "Well, I'll reverence my husband, bu the needs to be more loving first." No, the Bible says that we as Christians should be the one to make the first move and that we should do right by our spouse, love them and obey the Lord and do right by them whether they are a bad spouse or not. Don't blame everything on your spouse and say, "Well, I would be a great wife if I were married to somebody else." "I'd be a great husband if I were married to a husband like so-and-so. I'd be the best husband ever. I'd be the best wife ever." You know what? That's a lie because God expects us to do it in whatever situation we're in.
I don't care how much of a loser you think your husband is, you just need to be the best wife that you can. No matter bad of a wife you think you have, you need to be the best husband. You may find that by doing your part they'll do their part more too. You say, "Well, what if they don't?" You know what? God is still going to bless you, and you're going to be right with the Lord because at least you did what you were supposed to do. That's what Christ is calling us to do. Not to just love those that love us. Not to just do good unto those that do good unto us, but to be the one who loves even our enemies.
I'm not saying your wife is your enemy or your husband is your enemy. If they are at enmity with you, you still should love them and do right by them and not have this attitude of, "Well, I'll do this if you do this. Because I did this now you're going to do this." When you do something for your spouse, when you give unto your spouse, it shouldn't be just to get something in return. When you give something to your spouse or do something for your spouse, you should do it out of the goodness of your heart with no strings attached. A lot of bitterness in marriage comes from they do something for their spouse, and it's like, "Now I want something in return." It's like wait a minute. That's not how it works. You show your love, and you do things for your spouse hoping for nothing again. Not expecting it to be requited, but rather just because it's out of the goodness of your heart.
Again, obviously there's an authority structure. Obviously there are expectations that the husband has for his wife and so forth, but that's another story. I'm just talking about when it comes to acts of kindness and when it talks about being loving and doing the right things. We can't wait for our spouse to do right by us and then all of a sudden we're going to start obeying the Bible. We need to be the one to take the first step. You need to take this sermon and not try to apply it unto your spouse and go home and say, "Did you hear him? Did you hear what he said? He said you're supposed to make me the food I like. You're supposed to be doing this and that." Then it's like "Oh, yeah? Well, let's throw your video game console in the trash, because he talked about that too." Look, honestly, just apply this to your ... Don't go home ...
You've already failed if your attitude is just blaming the other person and it's all their fault. If they could only get this message and apply it. If only you could get this message and apply it. You need to be the one to take that first step.
Let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer. Father, we think you so much for our wives and our husbands, Lord, respectively. Thank you for the teachings of your word to help us to stay married because everyone around us is failing and divorcing and not staying married. Thank you for giving us your Word to give us some guidance how we can succeed, Lord, and how we can actually have a successful marriage that would honor you. Not to just succeed by staying married but actually to be happy and to get along with each other and enjoy each other's company, Lord. Help us to be willing to take some steps and make some changes in our lives. A lot of the things that I said tonight might not apply to a lot of people, but Lord, I pray that there would be at least one thing that each married couple heard tonight that would help them. At least one thing that they'd say, "You know what? That's something that I think that I could do better. I think I could have a better marriage if I would put that in to practice."
Lord, I just pray that every single person would walk away with one truth tonight that would help them to have a happy successful marriage for the sake of their kids, for the sake of our church, for the sake of Christ and for the sake of our nation. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.