This morning I want to preach on a subject that I haven't done a whole sermon on in quite a long time actually, but it's a subject that's pretty important, especially in the day in which we live. That subject has to do with dating, and singles and how they should live their lives. It's something that I haven't really done a whole sermon on, obviously. I've done a lot of sermons that touched on fornication and the things that need to be avoided, but a lot of people have a lot of really ungodly ideas in the world that we live, because we've become so removed from what the Bible teaches that when you start talking about biblical principles in regard to subjects like this, a lot of people think that it's extreme or fanatical just because our world has become so permissive and licentious, and so forth.
I don't want to spend a whole lot of time on the first point, just because it's something I've covered in a lot of other sermons, but God does demand purity of his people. The Bible says, "For this is the will of God. Even your sanctification that you should abstain from fornication." Again, I can go on and on, over and over again. There are just scores of scriptures in the New Testament that condemn fornication, that tell us that we need to be pure until we're married, and that the relationship that takes place within marriage needs to be kept within marriage only, between one man and one woman until death do them part.
The Bible says marriage is honorable in all, and the bad and defiled, but Whoremongers and adulterers, God will judge. I don't want to spend too much time on that point, but if you would turn to first Corinthian, chapter number 7, and let's look at some principles on this from The Bible.
I think that a lot of people that are in a position where they are single, where they are living alone, are in a very dangerous position where they are open to a lot of temptation. There's a lot of temptation constantly being put in front of us today, in 2015, whether it's through TV, magazines, billboards, and just being out and about because people just don't dress right, and it's really hard today to be pure, but God still demands it, and it is not impossible, and it is what God expects us to strive toward.
In First Corinthian 7, verse 1, The Bible reads, "Now concerning the things whereof you wrote unto me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."
Jump down to verse 7, it says, "For I would that all men were even as I myself." Now this is Paul talking, and Paul is a single man. He's not married. He says, "I would that all men were even as I myself, but every man hath this proper gift of God. One after this manner, and another after that. I say, therefore, to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I," meaning remain single. "If they cannot contain, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn," and so what Paul is saying here is that being single does have advantages, and people can really focus on serving God, but he says not everyone has that gift.
Every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. Let me say this, the vast majority of people are better off being married, and that is what The Bible teaches from Genesis to Revelation. It says, "It's not good for the man to be alone. [inaudible 00:03:32] make in help meet for him," and that's why God even created Eve.
Now there are some people like an apostle Paul, who can just devote themselves to serving God, and doing great works for him, and they're not encumbered with being married, but that is a small minority, and The Bible's real clear that it's better to marry than to burn, and the burning there is talking about burning with lust. That's a term that's used throughout the New Testament. Then to be burning in lust but unfulfilled, that's not how God wants us to live our life. He says it's better to marry than to burn. Some people have that gift of God where to them it's just not a big deal being single, and they can handle that temptation, but again, I believe it's a very small minority. I think 99% of men are made to be married, and that's the answer to the fornication and lust problems that we see.
A lot of people have come to me and said, "I struggle with temptation, and struggling with the temptation to fornicate, or the temptations for pornography, or temptations with lust. What do I do?" They have all these solutions, but they don't talk about the biblical solution, which is to get married. That's the biblical solution to the problem. A lot of people attack me for saying that, and say, "That's just so wicked and ungodly to say that the purpose of getting married is to avoid fornication," but isn't that exactly what The Bible says?
Pastor: That's what it teaches. This is just realistic. This is just biblical teaching from The Bible. Whether people like it or not, it's God's word. God demands purity and, "It's better to marry than to burn." That's what The Bible says. "To avoid fornication let every man have his own wife, and to avoid fornication let every woman have her own husband."
Unfortunately, there are some people who have already been married and been divorced, and now they're in a situation where it would be sinful for them to marry someone else. Look what The Bible says in verse number 10. Again, I don't want to spend too much time on this, because I've already covered it, but in verse 10 it says, "Unto the married, I command, yet not I but the Lord." He's saying, "This isn't just coming from me, it's coming from God." "Let not the wife depart from her husband. But if she departs, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband, and let not the husband put away his wife." The Bible's real clear in this passage saying, "Look, if you're a woman, do not depart from it." What about if? No! Do not depart from your husband is what The Bible says.
The Bible says that a man should not put away his wife. What God has joined together, let not man put asunder, and The Bible says, "Whosoever marrieth her that is divorced committeth adultery." That's what The Bible says. The Bible says that, "If a man puts away his wife, he causes her to commit adultery." Okay, so The Bible's real clear that those who have been married are supposed to stay married, and if they are split up, God forbid, it says that they should remain unmarried or be reconciled. That's what The Bible says here.
Now once one of the people gets remarried, then reconciliation is impossible, and then remain unmarried is the only alternative there. It's just a bad situation, that's why we need to think about who we marry, and think about how we live our life once we are married, and follow biblical principles and so forth, because we don't want to find ourselves in a bad situation like that.
Now The Bible says in ... Flip over if you would to second Corinthians chapter number 6. I have a bunch of stuff in my notes on that point, but honestly, I want to move on from that point just because I've covered it in so many other sermons. If you have a question about it, you can see me after the service, but number 1, The Bible teaches that we are to be pure, no fornication, and that to avoid fornication we should get married. Some people have already been married, made mistakes, that's another sermon.
First of all let's talk about this. How do you choose the right person to get married to? You say, "Okay, Pastor Anderson, if it's God's will for met to get married, how do I pick the right person? What's the criteria to guide me? There are so many fish in the sea." Look what The Bible says first of all in Second Corinthian 6, verse 14, it says, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers, for what fellowship have righteousness with unrighteousness, and what communion had light with darkness, and what concord had Christ with Belial, or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?"
The first most important criteria of whoever you're going to marry is that they need to be a believer. They need to be saved. This tells me that if you shouldn't marry an unbeliever, you shouldn't be dating an unbeliever either. Now obviously you're going to come into contact with unbelievers, you're going to be social and friendly with them, and so forth, but you should not begin a relationship, or get emotionally involved, or start thinking along the lines of being romantic with someone until they are for sure saved, and you should not even play around with this, because otherwise people get into a relationship thinking, "Oh, I'm going to get him saved," or, "I'm going to get her saved," and then it doesn't happen and it's too late because they're already attached, they're already emotionally invested, and it's too late to get out of.
I've lived just my short life on this earth of so far 33 years. I've already seen this happen a tonne of times, where Christian people marry unChristian people. Where people marry an unbeliever, and the problems, and the heartache, and the nightmare that it causes, it's not worth it. Don't even play around with it. You need to just be not unequally yoked with an unbeliever. This passage right here say, "What fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?" If you're living a Godly, Christian life, you shouldn't really have much in common with unbelievers anyway. I have to wonder, how can you have such a relationship that's as deep as the relationship that would be marriage; how can you even have that relationship with a person that's not saved, unless you're just totally walking in the flesh yourself?
If you're just a completely worldly Christian that's walking in the flesh, yeah then you're going to have a lot in common with the unsaved, but if you actually care about The Bible, and the things of God, and soul-winning, and church, how could you even have that serious a relationship with somebody who's not saved, when Christ is supposed to be our life, The Bible says? That's what this passage brings to mind when it says, "What fellowship have righteousness with unrighteousness?" What does fellowship mean? Having something in common. That's what fellowship means. Communion. What communion has light with darkness? What concord had Christ with Belial, or what part of [inaudible 00:10:16] with an infidel?
Some people say, "I think a marriage between an unbeliever and a believer can work." How can there be concord? How can there be fellowship? How can there be peace and unity in that home? It's not going to work. You say, "Okay, Pastor, how do I find the right person, though, besides just making sure that they're saved?" First of all, I think this is a big part of it, right here. This verse that's on the wall behind me, "In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." We need to live our lives in a way that is pleasing to God, and trust for God to lead us through our lives.
I can tell you this, in my life I've not been perfect, I've made mistakes, but I've always loved the Lord throughout my life. Even as a child I loved the Lord. I loved Jesus and I loved The Bible, and I can think of a lot of girls that I would have wanted to get involved with, or think about dating, and it's like God just protected me from some of the wrong people, because of the fact that when you love the Lord, and when you're walking with him and serving him, he's going to guide your path. The Bible says, "The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and he delighteth in his way."
If we would focus on living a Godly, righteous, Christian life to the best of our ability, and focus on serving God, reading our Bibles, praying, then God's going to direct us and hopefully, he can keep us out of the snare of the strange woman that flatter [inaudible 00:11:38]. The Bible says that a whorish woman, an adulterous woman, it says, "It's a deep ditch, and he that is a port of the Lord will fall therein." God can protect us from the wrong type of woman, or if you're a woman, from the wrong type of man.
The Bible says, of course, "See ye first the Kingdom of God, and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you." God will give you what you need when you love him, and serve him, and put him first in your life. Not only that The Bible says, "Who shall findeth a wife, findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor of the Lord." Again, walking in God's favor is going to get you the right outcome in your life. The path that God's blessing is through the door of obedience. The Bible says, in Proverbs 19:13 ... Turn to Proverb 31, if you would. I'm going to read for you from Proverbs 19.
The Bible says, in Proverbs 19:13, "A foolish son is the calamity of his father, and the contentions of the wife are a continual dropping." Now what's that talking about, the contentions of the wife? This is basically arguing. A wife that continually argues with you, is like a continual dropping, and this calls to mind the Chinese water torture. That continual ... Just that little drip, drip, and it seems like a little thing, the arguing, except when it keeps happening it becomes torture. God's warning you about the wrong kind of woman here. He says,"The contentions of a wife are continual dropping." He's also warning wives not to be that continual dropping.
Then he says in verse number 14, "Houses and riches are the inheritance of fathers and a prudent wife is from the Lord." Did you get that? A prudent wife is from the Lord. It's a gift from God, is what The Bible's teaching. Then right after that he falls up with this verse. "Slothfulness casteth into a deep sleep and an idle soul shall suffer hunger." Maybe I should have had you turn to this passage, but the idle soul will suffer. What's The Bible saying here? God gives us things that we need.
The Bible teaches that God gives us food, and God gives us raiment, and that God will give you a prudent wife, but does that mean that we don't go to work? We just sit at home and say, "You know what? Every good gift is from above." Every good gift, every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of Light, where there was no variableness and neither shadow of [turning 00:14:08], and just sit back and say, "Well, God promised to provide my needs. God promised to provide me with food. God said he's going to keep me clothed." Sit back and just wait for it to happen. Just pray it down, Brother. Is that really going to work? No, because God commanded us, right? "Six days shalt thou labor."
He tells us to go out and work, and earn our bread and our clothing, and so forth. It's the same thing, he puts these two verses together for a reason. He says, "Hey, a prudent wife's from the Lord, but if you're slothful, and if you're idle, you're going to suffer hunger," and there's another hunger besides the hunger for food, my friend." God says you're going to be hungry and not be satisfied because you're slothful, lazy, you're idle. What does it mean to be idle? You're not doing it yet, you're doing nothing. Idle mean you're not doing anything.
Here's the thing. If you want to get married, and this part is more directed at the men. If you want to get married, you can't be idle about it. You can't just do nothing and you expect you're going to end up just being married some day. "Well, I'm just waiting on the Lord." Is that going to work when it comes to your meal? Is that going to work for your paycheck? Is that going to work for your clothing? No. You still have to go out and get it, and what God does is guides you, directs you, blesses you, he makes your job productive, and so forth, but he doesn't do it for you.
Just as he's not going to earn your money for you, make your food for you, get your clothing for you, he's not just going to give you a wife in the sense of, "Here it is. Here's your wife. There you go." Signed, sealed, delivered, just wrapped up for you. No, that's not the way life works, is it? In any area. You must not be idle. You must go out and find the wife, or you have to go our and put forth some effort, is what I'm saying. To actually meet people, and talk to people, and so forth.
In Proverbs 31, he talks a little bit about finding a virtuous woman. He says in verse 10, "Who can find a virtuous woman?" Don't cry, you've got a long time before you have to worry about any of this. "Who can find a virtuous woman, for her price is far above rubies?" God is saying, this is one of the greatest things that you can attain in your life is to find a virtuous woman. It says, "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool and flax, and worketh willingly with her [inaudible 00:16:41]"
I'm not going to read the whole passage, but a lot of what God describes in the virtuous woman, if we were to read the whole chapter, has a lot to do with her being a hard worker, and not being an idle soul. Someone that just kind of sits around not doing anything. Over and over in this passage it talks about her working with her hands, making food, making clothing, just being an industrious, virtuous, hardworking woman. Then if we jump down to the end for the sake of time, it says in verse 25, "Strength and honor are her clothing, and she shall rejoice in time to come." These are some of the attributes that we should look for in a woman. Virtue, Godliness, someone who works hard and is not idle, someone who is strong, and again, that has to do with working hard. It says someone who's strong, and someone who is honorable. Someone who has honor.
Then The Bible says, "She shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom." Okay, so are we looking for just a dumb ... I don't want to say just a dumb blond, because obviously it has nothing to do with it, but you know, should we be just looking for the ditzy, dumb, air-headed type? The Bible says if you're really going to find a virtuous woman she opens her mouth with wisdom. That means intelligent things come out of her mouth. These are the type of things that we should be looking for when we are looking for a wife. A lot of men today are looking for the wrong things.
We ought to be looking for a woman who loves God, who works hard, who is honorable, who is a strong character, and who opens her mouth and intelligent things come out. That's what's The Bible is saying. It says, "She openeth her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is the law of kindness." Kindness is another great attribute in a woman. It says, "She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her Blessed, her husband also, and he prays with her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all."
Watch this. "Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the food of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gate." According to The Bible here, is the main criteria that we should be looking for in a wife outward appearance?
Pastor: Just go for whatever is the most beautiful woman that we can get to say yes to us, is the one that we should be after. Is that what The Bible says? The Bible says, "Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain." That should not be the main criteria when you're looking for a wife, and yet from what I see from a lot of single guys, they put this as way too high of a criteria, and then they end up going after these women. Here's what I think a lot of Christian guys are looking for right now. They want a woman that dresses and looks like a hooker, but then they want her to have the morals of being a fundamental baptist, and they just don't understand why they can't find it.
I don't understand. I hear some of the most stupid statements coming out of the mouths of perpetually single guys. It's true. Just the perpetually chronically single men have some of the dumbest things come out of their mouth, like, "All the girls in my area are ungodly. Every woman in the city where I live is ungodly," and even called them worse things than that, and just, "Oh, everyone. You just can't find these godly girls anymore. You just can't find any of these Christian girls anymore. Nobody wants to serve the Lord, nobody wants to do what's right." You know what? It's so dumb, because they're going after that which looks on the outside, completely worldly and ungodly, and dressing like a Hoochie Mama, and then they want to go to her and expect to find all these morals, and Godliness, and she just wants to be a stay at home mom and have your babies. You know what? You can't always just expect to find those two things together, because the Godly woman's probably not going to be dressed like that in the first place. The virtuous woman's not going to look like that.
People just have weird ideas about what they're looking for, and they put too much emphasis on the outward appearance. Here's the thing about that. I don't think that you should marry someone that you just are not attracted to, but obviously, that's not going to make for a good marriage. Obviously, there has to be some chemistry there. Obviously, there's an emotional aspect of love. It's not just a checklist on paper. Is she strong? Check. Honor? Check. Hard worker? Yes. Obviously, you have to like who you're going to get married to. I'll use Brother [inaudible 00:21:29] illustrations, because I'd rather it coming out of his mouth than out of my mouth, but one of the things that he said was, he said, "Getting married is like chewing a piece of gum. At first it's going to have more flavor when you first put the gum in your mouth, right? Then as you chew it for a while, there's less flavor." He said, "Look, you're going to be chewing that gum for the rest of your life. You better make sure you pick gum that you like."
I'm not saying I agree with that, that's just what he said. It's true, though. Obviously, the newness, listen to me, the newness of anything is going to wear off. I wouldn't use such a carnal illustration as that chewing gum illustration, but that was what he said. Here's another illustration I like to use, is like getting a new car. When you go out and buy a new car there are a lot of things that are glamorous about cars, that get your attention, and you get excited about the V8, or the V6, or you get excited about the fancy, sporty look of the car. Let me tell you something. When you get a new car, all those bells and whistles and fancy things, after a while they're not that cool anymore, and it just becomes your car.
I remember I had a friend, when I was in high school, and he lived in a mansion. His parents were very wealthy, and they lived in this huge mansion. I just remember the first time walking into his house, just being in awe of it, being, "Whoa, man!" Tennis courts in the back yard. This house was huge. We would play hide and seek in this place, and it was a good game of hide and seek. It was just huge. Spiral staircase. I've never been in a house that fancy to this day. I remember being just blown away by it, but you know what? After I had gone over to his house 10, 15, 20 times, it got to where you weren't impressed by it at all anymore. It was just his house.
Honestly, whenever you move into a new house, like, "Whoa, look in here!" You get a new car, "Oh man!" Then the newness wears off, and then it's your house, then you know what you start caring about? Practical things.
Pastor: Think about it. For example, my famous car that I had. The 2800 Hyundai Sonata? That just never had a problem. Never broke down for the first 328,000 miles, even though I treated it roughly. It went 355,000 miles in total before it finally gave up the ghost, but that car was not the coolest, sportiest car that you'd get all excited about. It was a nice car, but here's the thing, I liked it from the beginning. I liked that car. I liked the way it looked. I sat in it. I felt comfortable with it. That car and I had chemistry from the beginning, but you know what really made me love that car with a deep, abiding love? Was the fact that it didn't break down, and the fact that it got good gas mileage. All right? It got like 29 miles to the gallon, and it was like, "Ah, you didn't get the V6." "Yeah, but that one mile a gallon I save by having the 4 cylinder, over the course of 355,000 miles is a substantial ..." That car did me good and no evil all the days of its life. Okay?
What I'm saying is, you can go out and just, "Yeah! I'm going to go out and get that Mustang convertible." It's not going to go 355,000 miles. It's not going to get the gas mileage. It's not going to be as reliable. It's not as practical. You're not going to be able to fit as many ... The people in the back are going to be cursing you because they have no legroom. What I'm saying is don't be foolish, and short sighted, and just think all about the looks, because you know what? At the end of the day The Bible says that beauty will fade over time. The Bible says here, that favor is deceitful, meaning that it can trick you, it can deceive you, and believe in something that's not true.
"Favor is deceitful and beauty is vain." What does vain mean? It's meaningless, okay? Honestly, like I said, I think that The Bible in a lot of areas teaches balance. You don't want to go to one extreme or the other. You don't want to go to this extreme that just says, "Well, looks don't matter at all," because then you can marry somebody that you have no chemistry with, you're not attracted to. That's not going to make for a good marriage. At the same time, it needs to be much lower on the list of priority than where most people have it, and a lot of guys need especially, and women also, obviously. This could apply to, but it seems like men are the ones who usually judge more on looks, is that you need to just open your mind a little bit, and open your eyes a little bit, and broaden your pool of choices, and not just only look at the most super attractive ...
A lot of the times it's what the world is telling us is attractive anyway. A lot of people aren't even going by their own tastes. They're just going by some model that the world has put out there. To a lot of Godly men, it's not really impressive anyway, because we don't like that look anyway.
Anyway, I don't want to spend the whole night, or the whole morning on that either, especially not the whole night, because then we'd really be here for a long time.
Number one, we saw that God demands us to be pure, and it's better to marry than to burn, so we should seek to get married.
Number two, there are some people who have already messed this up and made the mistakes, and therefore they have to remain single, or be reconciled to their spouse.
Number three, we talked about choosing the right person. First of all, you need to make sure that they're saved. Secondly, you need to look for actual points of character and intelligence, not just look at what their outward appearance is, and make that the main thing. That should take a backseat. We should be looking at character, intelligence. You can say, "It's easy for you to say, because your wife's beautiful," but here's the thing, though. When I was looking for a woman to get married to the main criteria that I was looking for was intelligence. That was the main thing that I was looking for, because I know how boring it can be to be with somebody who doesn't have any brains.
Congregation: That's right!
Pastor: Here's the thing. You don't just marry somebody just to look at them. You're going to look at them, but I didn't just sit and stare at my Hyundai Sonata. It was a beautiful car, but I'm not just going to sit there an look at it. I really want to get behind the wheel and drive it. You're going to do a lot of talking with your spouse. You're going to spend hundreds of thousands of hours talking, and having communion, and fellowship, and eating meals together, and talking together, and making decisions, and so forth. That needs to be real high on the list, is what's going on up here in the woman that you're thinking about getting married to.
I know I'm emphasizing it from the man's side, but that's just because I'm a man. Obviously, a lot of this stuff you could turn it around if you're a woman, and apply it the same way.
That should be amongst the choices. We also talked about the fact that you can't be idle about it. You can't do nothing. Look, I can honestly tell you, I did not get married when I was 19 years old by osmosis, and it did not just come to me and just fall in my lap, and there, just boom! I'm married. No. Actually, if you talk to anybody who knew me back then, I literally brought, in the year before I got married from the time I turned 18 to the time I turned 19, I brought at least, and I'm not exaggerating, you can ask anybody. I brought at least 15 or so different girls to church, at least in that final year before I got married. Just because I was constantly out meeting people, and I'd bring them to church because my philosophy was always, "If you no like church, I no like you."
I would make sure that they liked my church, so I would bring them. That was the first test, was like, "Yeah, come to church with me, and then I'll take you out to eat." If they hated Pastor Nicholls' preaching, then it's not going to work. Pastor Nicholls preached hard, sort of like another preacher that I know. Pastor Nicholls would get up and preach hard, and if they walked out of there like, "What in the world? What is that guy talking about?" Then it's like, "See you." That was one of the things, is that I would test them.
Look, I brought like 15 different girls to church, like every Sunday. Every Sunday different girl. It's not that these were all my girlfriends, or that I was involved in a relationship with all these girls. I was just trying to meet people. I had a lot of hooks in the water, as it were, because the idle soul shall suffer hunger. Some of you guys wonder why you're perpetually, perennially, chronically single. It's because you're not talking to any girls, you're not meeting anybody.
"There's no girls in our church!" Then when single girls do come to our church, you don't talk to them. Not only that, but there are about 40 independent Fundamental Baptist Churches in this city. If you don't want to miss a service at Faithful Word, a lot of them have services on Monday nights, Tuesday nights, Thursday nights, Friday nights for special revivals and things going on. You can go and visit them at that time. Also, it wouldn't kill you to miss a service on a Sunday night, or a Wednesday night at Faithful Word. Visit one of these other Fundamental Baptist Churches if you don't think there's enough options here, because this is kind of an important decision in your life. It's an important thing, and a great place to meet your future spouse is at church. In this church, or another Baptist church that's KJV and Fundamental, and they're out their, my friend, but you've got to go out there and work at it.
A man without friends must show himself friendly. You have to go out and approach women, and you can't expect them to do it. You need to do it. You need to man up, and get out there. I remember my dad yelling at me when I was a kid. Yelling at my brother. Not because he was mad, he just yelled at us a lot. He would yell at us and say like, "I'm the shyest person in the world, but you know what? You just have to force yourself to just talk to girls!" He would always preach to us how we needed to be out meeting girls. I remember he taught us, and we forced ourselves, and we actually said, "Hi," and met people.
Okay, let's get off that subject. That's a sore subject. No, I'm just kidding. Let's get off that, and let's talk about some principles of dating. We talked about the fact that getting married is a virtuous thing. We talked about what type of person you should be looking for. What should be the priorities and the criteria. Now what about how to go about the dating itself? How do we go about actually getting to know the person and deciding if this is who we want to be married to? By the way, that should be the purpose of dating. The only purpose of dating should be to get married. That's why any girl that I knew I wasn't going to get married to, I would not continue to date, because that's the whole purpose.
What should we do in regard to dating? First of all, go to Romans chapter 13, if you would. Romans chapter 13, because I think that one of the best pieces of advice for dating is that you should date in public places, and not be off in private together, alone somewhere, were temptation is going to be strong, and where there's going to be nothing to stop you from committing a sin that is very easy to fall into the sin of fornication.
The Bible says in Romans 13 verse 14, "But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ," watch this, "And make not provision for the flesh to fulfill the lust thereof." The Bible's saying don't make provision for the flesh to fulfill the lust thereof. Don't give the flesh the opportunity to commit sin. This would be like if you were going on a diet and you said, "You know, I'm going to be on this really strict diet, and I don't want to eat any junk food, or sweets, or anything," and basically the fridge is just full of candy bars, and Twinkies, and Ho Hos, and [inaudible 00:33:42] chips, and it's all just right there in a refrigerator by your bedside. Okay? Then you're saying, "Yeah, I'm going to stick with this diet." It's not going to work. It doesn't make any sense. If you're going to stick with something, you have to remove the temptation.
There are different schools of thought on this. Some people will talk about courtship. Who's heard of the term, courtship? Here's the thing. I hear a lot of people talk about courtship, and they'll demonize the very word, dating. Listen, there's nothing wrong with the word, dating, because you know what a date is? January the 25th, 2015. Is there anything wrong with that? No. All dating means is that you're making an appointment to get together and spend time with someone that you're thinking about getting married to. That's what dating means to me. I've explained a lot of my teachings, and my principles on dating that I would have for my kids, and those in the courtship crowd would say that they are totally in agreement with what I've said. I just don't feel the need to use an antiquated term, courtship, that has a lot of baggage associated with it too, because some of those in the courtship crowd have a lot of really strange and weird ideas, where they take things too far. I just use the word dating, but I will say this. I think that dating should be done in a public place.
Obviously, if you're going to get married to someone, you need to have private conversations with that person, because you can't really get to know someone in a group. A lot of people say, "It should only be done in a group!" The problem is, it's hard to get to know someone personally when there are a whole bunch of people there, because you can't really dig deep in conversation and so forth. I think that a wise way to do this would be to be alone with the other person in public. You're still having a conversation, just you and them, but there's no opportunity to fulfill the lust of fornication.
For example, I can remember when I was a teenager, I was interested in a certain girl, and her parents were strict and had rules like this. I remember one date that I went on with this girl was basically we sat in her back yard, like hundreds of feet from the house, on a swing or something, and we were drinking hot cocoa, and talking, and hanging out, but they could still see us out the window. We could still have a private conversation. We could still get to know each other, but Dad is right there, making sure that everything is as it should be. He was cleaning his shotgun.
Another date that I went on like that was we went out to eat at a restaurant, and the parents were there, but basically it was my parents, but my parents were at a distant table in the restaurant. You still have the feel of, "Oh, it's just us. We're out to dinner," but there's still somebody there that's keeping things accountable.
The other side of this would be, "Hey, let's just go on a date where you come over to my apartment, and we sit on the bed, and hang out, and read books together?" It's like, what in the world? What I'm saying is, you have to think about these things because the temptation is so strong, and because of the fact that there is the lust of the flesh. We don't want to make provision for that, so you can be outside, you can take walks together, you can have a picnic in the park, you can go out to eat together, you can do things that are outside, or in a public gathering, even though you're still in private. This thing of just going over to a house, door's closed, that's not a good way to be dating. You're just opening yourself up to temptation, is what you're doing there.
The Bible says, "Make not provision for the flesh to fulfill the lust thereof." There are some people that will go so far as to even spend the night at somebody else' house, and say like, "Oh, but there's no fornication going on. They're just sleeping on the sofa." Look, at night when people are tired, is when peoples' guard are down. Number one, The Bible says, "Abstain from all appearance of evil." When people see that going on, they're going to assume that fornication is going on, and secondly, it's just opening yourself up to a very strong temptation, that's going to be very hard to resist, and so it's a foolish thing to do.
When you study The Bible on this, you'll find a lot of people getting into trouble where they're alone in a house with someone of the opposite gender. For example, Joseph, when he was working in the house of Potiphar's wife, he's alone with her in the house. She lays hold on him and says, "Lie with me," and he says he's not going to do it. She grabs him and attacks him, and literally rips his clothes off. He runs out of the house, and she has part of his clothes. Then she lies, this is found in Genesis chapter 39. She lies about it and says, "Well, he tried to attack me. He tried to force me in bed." Therefore, he ends up going to prison. Therefore, we need to be careful to protect ourselves, protect our reputation, and even just to not make provision for the flesh.
By the way, I don't do ... For example, there will be situations where a woman will come to me as a pastor, and say like, "Can I talk to you in your office? I want to talk to you in private," and the answer is always no. I always say, "This is as private as I get. We can step a few steps away from the rest of the congregation and talk." That's as private as I get, because I don't want to ... Number one, be in a situation where I can be lied about, or just that temptation could be there, and you would say, "Well, Pastor, you would never give in to that temptation." I don't think I would either, but here's the thing, The Bible says, "Let him that thinketh he stand, take heed lest he fall," so we shouldn't be so prideful and arrogant to think that we're all above sin.
I don't believe I would ever do such a thing, but it doesn't mean that I'm just going to constantly put myself in a position to where it could happen. It's ridiculous. Doesn't make any sense. It's prideful and arrogant to do that. Not only that, but other people look at that, and they see people go in, the door shuts, they're in the office for half hour, and people could lie, or gossip, or get the wrong idea. It's just better to keep yourself above reproach. We are living in perilous times, and we need to just keep ourselves clean and pure, and above reproach.
Then we see Dinah, for example. If you would, turn to Deuteronomy chapter 22. Dinah was the daughter of Jacob, and basically, she goes out to see the daughters of the land. Basically, what Dinah is doing is, she leaves her parents' house and just goes into town by herself, just to meet all the worldly girls, and she's hanging around with the worldly girls, next thing you know, a guy comes on to her and she ends up committing fornication with that guy.
Think about the situation first of all with Potiphar's wife and Joseph. If she would have been stronger than him, it probably would have taken place, because she's grabbing him, she's laying hold on him, she's ripping his clothes off. Obviously, he's a man. He's stronger. What if we were to flip that coin over? There are a lot of women that could get in a situation with a man where they could be overpowered and defiled. This is where the date-rape comes from, and so on and so forth. Especially of girls or women, they need to be protected and guarded from these type of situations.
Look at Deuteronomy chapter 22, verse 13. It says, "If any man take a wife and go in under her, and hate her, and give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, 'I took this woman and when I came to her, I found her not a maid,'" That means a virgin, "Then shall the father of the dams, the one her mother take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity, under the elders of the city and the gate, and the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, 'I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her, and lo he has given occasions of speech against her saying, I found not thy daughter a maid, and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity,' and they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city, and the elders of that city, shall take that man and chastise him, and they shall immerse him in a hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he has brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel, and she shall be his wife.
He may not put her away all his days, but if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel, then they shall bring out the damsel of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die, because she has brought folly and Israel to play the whore in her father's house. So shalt thou put away evil from among you."
What I want to take from this, obviously, there's a lot to cover in this passage, and we don't have time to go through it. I have done in other sermons, but the thing I want to point out here is that the father of this girl is actually responsible for her virginity. When the girl is said to be a virgin and found not to be, it's the father that's held responsible. "Hey, your daughter is not a maid. What's going on here?" He basically feels that he can or cannot guarantee the virginity of his daughter.
I believe that we as fathers should guard and protect our daughters, and to make sure they remain pure and virgin until they get married. I believe that's our responsibility as fathers today.
Let me say this. There is a difference between boys and girls. There is a difference between men and women. "Ah, it's a double standard!" Yes, it is a double standard, because you know what? There's a difference today, between men and women, but our world today wants to blur all difference, and so anybody that just gets up and says, "Hey, we're going to treat our sons and daughters differently," people freak out about that, because they have this weird sense of equality and fairness. It's not biblical. What does The Bible teach? That there's a big difference.
Now look, men have to be a leader, because that's part of being a man, is that you're going to grow up one day, you're going to get married, and then you're going to have to lead your wife, and then you're going to lead your children. You have to be a leader, you have to be independent, you have to make money, you have to go out in the world and get something done and make something happen, and do something.
That is not the path that God has laid out for women, according to The Bible. Women, according to The Bible, in a perfect world, God's plan for their lives is that they would grow up, be given in marriage unto a man, so they're going to go straight from their parents to their husband, and then they're not going to be the leader, they're going to follow their husband, and they're going to help him and be his wife, and get onboard with his program, and live with him. They're going to marry, bear children and guide the house, and cook, and clean, and take care of the house. "You're old fashioned." Of course it's old fashioned, unlike this newfangled garbage that we have in America today that doesn't work. It makes everybody miserable. Half the people get divorced. A bunch of the other people that stay married are miserable and dysfunctional.
Look, God's way is the right way, and so God's plan for women is that they would marry, bear children, and guide the house. It is a full time job to cook, clean, take care of the house, and take care of the children. It's a full time job.
Do you think that my wife is just struggling every day with what to do with all her free time? She has 8 kids to deal with, and the she has me to deal with. That's enough to deal with. She's busy. She doesn't need a career. Therefore, and listen to me, and look, people are going to disagree with me.
Hey, disagree with me all you want, if you read The Bible and you come to different conclusions, that's fine. Everybody's got The Bible. Everybody's got the Holy Spirit. You can believe whatever you want in this church, but let me tell you this. As for me and my house, I've studied The Bible, I read these scriptures, and I am not going to let my daughters go out and get a job when they're 16, 17, 18 years old. Not happening.
There's no reason for it. They need to grow up and get married, and until they get married, I'm going to support them and pay for them. I will provide their needs. I will give them the money that they need, and they're not going to go out and go get a job somewhere, and have all this freedom and drive all over town, and drive out to see the daughters of the land, and go out and get ... No! It's not going to happen. I'm going to protect my daughters, and their character, and their reputation, and even now I give my sons, and of course, my sons are older, but I give them a lot more freedom, because as your sons get older, you have to start giving them freedom. You can't just give your sons no freedom, and then all of a sudden it's like, "All right! You're 18 now." There has to be a transition where they start learning to take responsibility, learn to have money, learning to go to work, learning to be out there and resist temptation, and so forth.
With girls, it's different, and they need to be protected and guarded, because they're not strong enough. Look, if some woman throws herself at my son and starts trying to rip his clothes off, he's going to be strong enough to resist that. I'm talking about physical strength. Whereas a daughter, not necessarily. People go out, and the go to parties, and there's drinking and all kinds of crazy things happen. You know what? Women need to be guarded, and they need to be protected as young girls from being just unfettered, out there ... You see the Christian girls that go bad, today. The ones that I've seen in my own life. What is it? They get involved with some guy; some wicked, unsaved guy, at school or at work. Those are the two places where they're going to meet these guys.
It's not some guy from church. It's the guy from school, the guy from work, and The Bible does call women ... This is not a criticism of women. The Bible teaches that women are the weaker vessel. The Bible says that Adam was not deceived, but Eve was the deceived, because women are more trusting and easier to beguile than men.
Women have other strengths that men don't have. For example, a great strength of women is cooking. No, I'm just kidding. That is a great strength. A great strength of women is that women are way better at reading peoples' expression, their body language, their mood. Women are practically mind readers, whereas men are not that perceptive. Men, if you want to get something across to them, you better drop it in front of them like a pile of bricks. "Hello! Is anybody home?" Women are a lot more attuned to little subtle cues, and body languages, and signals, and they can read people, whereas men can't. It's just a difference there.
That's why my wife is usually much better at busting the kids when they do wrong. I'm like, "Everything's fine. The kids are all taking a nap, everything ..." She knows what they're up to and everything like that. It's called feminine intuition. Women have strengths, men have other strengths. Men are usually better at math, and have other skills. Obviously more physical strength, and so forth, but men are also more skeptical. Men are more skeptical and more discerning, and women are a little bit more naive sometimes, and believing. Women are easily influenced because they are born to be a follower, whereas men are born to be a leader, when it comes to the marriage relationship, which is good for women to follow and to submit in the marriage relationship, and it's good that man is the leader, and the dominant one, and that's just the way that it works. That's the way life is, that's the way we've been created by God, and so this submissive creature that is woman, should not just be sent out amongst the wolves in sheep's clothing to be defiled.
That's what we see with Dinah, and other stories in The Bible of the same thing. My daughters will not go out and get a job. I will provide their needs. They will not be sent into the school system, because they're home schooled, and they're not going to be sent out to college. "Oh, it's a Christian college." That's where the worst wolves in sheep's clothing are, by the way. The worst of the worst. Then they're not going to be just, "I'm 18, I move out now." No they're not.
Obviously, if somebody just leaves at 18 there's nothing I can do about it, but you know what, I'm teaching my children that they should remain with Father and Mother until they get married. That goes even for the boys, because The Bible says that, "A man should leave Father and Mother and cleave unto his wife, and they too shall be of one flesh." Doesn't mean that they can't go anywhere or take a trip, or anything.
For example, I took a trip to Germany when I was 18, and went over there, but it was all with my parents' consent and blessing. They were still in authority over me. By the way when I was in Germany, I spent every single night sleeping in a pastor's home, or some Godly Christian home. I wasn't just unaccountable, just out with my roommate and my boys, and out, just hanging out. No, I was actually in a family atmosphere even when I was over there. I came back to the United States, submitted myself under my parents, and I lived with my parents until I got married, because The Bible says, "The man should leave Father and Mother, and cleave unto his wife, and they too shall be one flesh."
Again, a lot of people will say, "Well, what about this situation? What about that situation?" Sometimes parents get divorced, and there's some other step person brought in, and they just want to get out of there. Okay, but here's the bottom line, though. This is God's will in a normal situation. This should be God's plan. This is the ideal, and for those of us that are in a Christian Godly home, this is how we should order our houses. This is coming from The Bible. These principles are taught in The Bible, "That a mans should leave Father and Mother, and cleave unto his wife. They too should be one flesh."
That a father should hold himself responsible for the virginity of his daughter. When I'm preaching hard against fornication, I want my sons to hear that preaching, and to keep themselves pure and Godly. I am not as concerned with my daughters, because it's going to be physically made impossible for them to commit fornication. I'm not kidding. Stop laughing! I'm just kidding.
I'm not kidding, because of the fact that they're not going to be allowed to just go out and do whatever. They're not going to be allowed ... "He's just going to keep them locked up!" Obviously, we're training them, and teaching them in Biblical principles, but we're not just going to give them unfettered access to the car. They're going to go places with me, or my wife, or with their brothers to make sure that they're protected and safe, and that they're not just out partying, and going to work with a bunch of Heathens, and all this stuff. Therefore, I'm not as worried about it with them, whereas my sons I have to really sit down and talk to them, and really ingrain in them, "Look, you have more freedom, and you need to make sure that you don't put yourself in these positions to fulfill the lust of the flesh," and so on and so forth.
There's so much to cover in so little time. I've got to hurry up and finish here. The last thing I want to talk about is being physical before you are married. A lot of people will say, "Well, you know, they're not going commit fornication, but then they will get very physical in other ways," and basically what that's doing is, again, making provision for the flesh to fulfill the lust thereof. Trying to get as close to the line as you can without going over the line is not wise.
This is not wise for several reasons and I'm going to show you biblically where I believe we should draw the line on this. Okay?
First of all, if you gratify and satisfy the lust of the flesh, that's not going to make it easier for you to resist fornication, it's going to make it harder, because you are not going to be fully gratified unless you commit fornication. Therefore, what I'm saying is, that you don't want to just sit there and indulge the flesh, and indulge those appetites. Again, I don't want to be graphic for the sake of children, but just the making out, and whatever else. You don't want to sit there and get yourself all worked up. That's just making it harder to resist temptation. Honestly, even though it might seem satisfying at the time a little bit, you know what you're doing is just torturing yourself, because you're just making it harder to resist temptation.
Here's the true story. Out of sight, out of mind. Part of the reason why it's so hard for men to remain pure in 2015, is because we're constantly being reminded of these things with images. Everywhere were turn, because the advertising industry for the last hundreds of years, has used our primordial reproductive urge that God gave us, that's been programmed as instinct, to try to sell us everything from cars, to food, to appliances. Right?
These psychologists have tapped into our brains, and our most primitive needs for food, or reproduction, or whatever, and then basically they're using those to try to get us to spend money, and so constantly that part of our brain is being accessed through the sorcerers on Madison Avenue. That's what's really going on.
Therefore, if you're wise ... Listen, I want you single guys to listen up carefully. Teenagers, young men that are single, listen to me. The easiest way that you're going to get through this period in your life, where you have these desires, but you're too young to get married, or you haven't found the right person to get married to yet. The easiest way is not to dwell on it, and not to think about it, and not to look at it. If you're going to sit there and watch all the TV, and watch all the movies, and look at all the magazines, and just go to the beach and look at all the Babes, you know what you're going to do is torture yourself, and it's going to be very difficult for you to resist that temptation.
You need to stay away from these sources of temptation as much as possible, and keep these things out of your eyesight as much as possible, because it's going to be a temptation. Then if you start getting physical with a girl, you know what? That's just really going to ramp up the desire, and it's going to make it even harder. Look, it will destroy your life. Fornication is a major sin, especially when you're a Godly, Christian young person who's heard Bible preaching, "Under whom much is given of him, shall much be required," and God will not bless you if you go out and commit this major sin of fornication. Don't downplay it. It's a big deal.
Therefore, the wise thing to do is to not get all those appetites all worked up in you by looking at all this stuff, or by getting physical. Okay?
Now you say, "Where do you draw the line with getting physical?" Let me give you some scriptures. I've got to hurry, but first of all turn, if you would, to Proverb 6. I already read for you from First Corinthian 7 where it said, "It's good for a man not to touch a woman." He said, "Concerning the things [inaudible 00:56:52] brought unto you, it is good for a man not to touch a woman, nevertheless to avoid fornication," have your own wife and so forth.
You say, "Pastor Anderson. Does that literally mean just don't touch at all? Just don't even touch them? Is that really what it's saying?" If we let The Bible define itself. If we study The Bible, I think we can find the answer. First of all, here's another verse that used the term, touch. It says in Proverb 6:25, "Lust not after her beauty in thine heart," this is about the strange woman, the whore-ish woman. It says, "Neither let her take her with thine eyelids, for by means of a whore-ish woman, a man is brought to a piece of bread, and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life. Can a man take fire in his bosom and his clothes not be burned? Can one go upon hot coals and his feet not be burned? So either go within to his neighbor's wife, whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent." Again using the term, toucheth her, about committing adultery, or being inappropriate with your neighbor's wife.
Now, there are some places in The Bible that talk about touching that would be acceptable, I believe. For example, in Luke chapter 7, you don't have to turn there, but in Luke chapter 7, the woman comes and washes Jesus' feet, and she kisses his feet and washes them with her hair, and so forth. Other people are rebuking the fact that she's doing that, and they use the word touch. They say ... Let me read it for you. It says in Luke 7:39, "Now in the [inaudible 00:58:32] which had bidden him had saw it, he spake within himself saying, 'This man, if he were a profit, would have known who and what manner of woman that is that toucheth him, for she's a sinner.'" Of course, he rebukes them and justifies what she is doing.
Here's the thing about that, though. When she's washing his feet, that's clearly not, and I don't want to use the word SEXUAL, because of the fact that I don't want kids to get desensitized to that word, so I'll use the word, amorous, but everybody knows what I mean. Obviously, that's not amorous of an action of washing his feet. Jesus and her, there was nothing going on there, it was she was washing his feet as a sign of just humility, and deference, and respect, and so forth.
Also in The Bible, there's the term where it say, "Greet one another with an Holy kiss," but what a lot of people don't focus on when they try to bring that out, is that it says, "Greet all the brethren with an Holy kiss." You have to understand that in other cultures, and this is not an American thing, and I don't want it to become an American thing, but in other countries when you greet people, they kiss each other on the cheeks. That's just a greeting that they do. They just grab the face and just (kiss kiss). There's only one person that I do this with, and this is my father-in-law, because he's Hungarian, and he's like a Hungarian of the Hungarians. He's really proud of being a Hungarian. He's really into the culture and everything. When my Hungarian father-in-law greets me, he'll come and give me a big hug, and (kiss kiss). That's the only person I greet with a Holy kiss, okay.
Again, nothing weird or amorous there, it's a greeting. What's the American greeting that would be the equivalent?
Pastor: Handshake. Look, there's nothing amorous about a handshake, is there? Or that type of a kiss on the cheek greeting of Europe or the Middle East, or, for example, washing the feet, or whatever. I think that a good rule of thumb, and this is what I believe, because obviously God does not want us getting our passions inflamed, because he says that we should not have lust. What is lust? Desire. If we get physical with each other, desire and lust are going to be inflamed. It's a fact. You know it's true. Even if you're not physically committing it, it's being committed in the mind, and in the heart, and in the desire, and in the lust.
Therefore, here's the rule of thumb that I would put forth. Is that if it's something that you wouldn't be comfortable doing with another man, or with a member of your family like your mom, or your sister, then it's clearly amorous. It's clearly igniting something else. That should be where you draw the line. That allows for just normal, social human contact without the passions being inflamed. If you do it with another man, or your sister, or your mom, then it obviously isn't.
I will say this. Are you in Proverbs? Look at chapter 5 of Proverbs. I want to just point out one other thing too, though.
Again, just use that as a rule of thumb. If you would do it with another man, fine. If you say, "I would never do that with another man," or, "I'd never do that to my mother," "I would never do that to my sister," then you know what? It's obviously over the line then. Obviously it has to do with being amorous, or whatever word you want to use there.
Look what The Bible says about your spouse. It says in verse 15. "Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own and not strangers with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind, and pleasant roe. Let her breast satisfy thee at all times, and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?"
This is one thing that I think, number one, like I said, you should only do that which you would be willing to do with another man, or your sister, or your mother. Number two, I would say that according to this passage, I don't think that you should embrace the bosom of her which you are dating. By the way, as a married man, I do not hug other women front on. I don't do it. I've frequently had women try to just give me a big hug front on, so even though I would do this with another man, a hug, but there's that whole bosom thing that separates men and women.
Again, I don't embrace the bosom of a stranger, because of this passage, and because of the fact that I do find it to be inappropriate. As a married man, whenever I have a woman come up to me and try to give me a big hug like that, front forward, you know what I always do? I just take a step back and put out my hand like this. That's the best way to handle it. Someone's coming at me, just like, "Hey, how's it going?"
You know, you say, "You're strict." You know what, though? It keeps you from temptation, it keeps you out of trouble, and you go to some churches and it's like this hug-fest. By the way, there are some modern versions that take major liberties with The Bible, like the message, and the living Bible, and stuff. I've seen some of it saying, "Greet one another with a Holy hug," and they just take the liberty to change the kiss to a hug, but remember, in The Bible, men will kiss each other. Jesus goes over to Pharisees' house and saying that he didn't give him a kiss. It says, "Kiss the son lest he be angry." It's just a greeting, but a hug, when you're going to sit there and hug and embrace front on, that is amorous between a man and a woman, and so it's better just to do it as a handshake, or at least try to spin to the side and do the side hug maneuver, or whatever.
Honestly, don't try to hug me. I always say, and sometimes women are offended by it, but I always just say to them if it gets real uncomfortable, then I always just say to them, "Look, I only huge my wife, because I don't want her hugging other men. It's nothing against you." Usually most women that hear that are, "Okay, I understand." People understand that. Okay?
That's all I've got for this morning, but just to quickly review, just to quickly give you the points in a nutshell. Is that we need to be pure, we need to abstain from fornication, and you know what? If you're a young, single guy, and you're saying, "Wow! How do I remain pure?" "I'm struggling with pornography." "I'm struggling with lust." "I'm struggling with temptation to fornicate," you know what? The answer The Bible says, is to get married. Better to marry than to burn. To avoid fornication, have a wife. Is it just going to fall in your lap? No. You can't be idle, you have to go out looking for a wife, and you have to meet people, and talk to people, and greet people, and get over the shyness, and get the boldness, and the courage to meet people.
How do you choose the right person? They need to be saved, and you need to look for inner qualities, and character, and loving God, and being a good worker and a person with integrity, and character, and brains. That's what you should be looking for. Obviously, there should be some chemistry. You should like the person. You have to like them too. Like them and want to be around them. Then obviously, we should stay in public places when we're not married, when we're with the opposite gender. Stay in a public place, especially daughters. Dad needs to guard and make sure that she is protected at all times, and have rules, and so forth.
Then when it comes to being physical, don't get all entangled and inflamed physically. You need to make sure that you draw the line at that which is not something you would be comfortable with doing with another man. There's not much I'd feel comfortable doing with another man. Right? There you go.
All right. Let's [inaudible 01:06:49] prayer.
Father, we thank you so much for your word, Lord, and we live in confusing times, Lord. Our culture is one that literally laughs at and makes fun of the idea of being a virgin when you get married. They scoff at that, they think it's ridiculous, but, Lord, it's what you demand. God help us never to become desensitized and start thinking, "Well, maybe it's not that bad." Help us to work hard to live our lives in a way that's honor and glorifying to you, and Lord help us as parents to teach our children properly, and to guard them and keep them safe from these temptations. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.